


A little talk

by Lame_Writer



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Childhood Trauma, Dead Parents, Depression, Grief, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Loss, Mental Breakdown, Mental Illness, Original Character(s), Original Female Character - Freeform, POV Original Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, breakdown - Freeform, referenced self harm, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23147077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lame_Writer/pseuds/Lame_Writer





	A little talk

Fem hugged herself as she began to softly sob, walking down the cracked stone path through the graveyard. Multiple stones of all shapes, colors and sizes — looking for two that stood by eachother in particular. Once she got to a peaceful lake she knew she was there, turning to the left of her to see two lone, perfectly well kept gravestones that say besides eachother staring at the lake and horizon ahead of them. She shuffled to the center of them where a gap big enough for her to sit she did, sitting next to them and taking a deep breath. The cemetery had been abandoned for years but she still went in anyway. 

“Hey mom, hey dad” she soon spoke in a pained tone, briefly waving her hand before letting it go to her side once again. Knowing they’d never answer back but felt a sense of peace knowing she was by them even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted to. 

“I’m back, yeah, haha - I wanna talk to you guys about something” more tears rolled down her face as she struggled to stay calm. The silence started again as she went quiet herself, trying to gather her thoughts. 

“My adoptive mom - or well ex friend..she tried to bring you guys up and I snapped,,I told her what happened and she — she just didn’t care !” She yelled in distress mixed frustration, moving her arms a bit as she spoke. Wiping away her tears only for them to come back once again, her body still trembling violently. Looking down at the dead patches of grass as her lips twitched. she took a shaky inhale. 

“I thought she,,I thought she was my friend ! I thought- she ca-ared about me !” She yelled again into the void. Bringing her hands to the sides of her head and tugged at her hair in frustration. Her rage still heated and bubbling in her gut. Her body aches as her trembling continued. 

“I just,, I don’t understand ! What am I doing wrong ?!” She sobbed, her heart still beating harshly with a fast pace. She occasionally wheezed as the breaths were taken out as they came in. This was the only place she was able to let it all out, with her parents. She hugged herself tightly as she struggled to calm down. 

“If only you guys were still here,,and dad was nic-er and he wouldn’t hit u-us, and he wouldn’t be mea-mean and...and we could all be an actual family” she was vague to avoid her own breakdown to become worse. She sobbed as she was talking to her mother — she wished she could, she wish she could feel her hugs again, her kind words, her healing touch - but she couldn’t anymore. 

“I wish—I wish you were still here...it’s not fair ! Everyone-Everyone else has parents — everyone else has a mom ! I have n-no-no one..” she sniffled as her trembling slowly stopped but the tears still broke free, following to her lap. She bit her lip and wiped the tears away again. 

“I miss you guys..I miss you both everyday—I replay the tapes, I look at the drawings you’d make me, I listen to the audios,, everyday” her voice wavered in grief. She wanted to just disappear — she felt more hopeless as she felt her heart ache from the emotional pain.

“She tried say it won’t happen — that-that’s what you said mom and look what happened !” She continued, taking a deep breath before continuing again.

“Everyone’s gone on without..me,, what am I ? I-I’m everything dad said..he’s right - everyone’s right — I” she choked out a sob while she spoke, struggling to keep herself from breaking down again.

“Is it just cool or something al-all of a — all of a sudden to this crap to me ?!” She never swore in front of parents, even if they were dead and gone. She wanted to believe they were with her right now, and in every visit for that matter.

“Everyone talks so good about their parents and, and I can’t say much - they go on trips, they go do..they go do family things ! And here I am..I can’t even hug you, I can’t even see you !” She continued go yell, knowing full well no one ever comes by anymore. Clenching her fists again as she shut her eyes tightly, tilting her head down as her hands went down to the dry, dead grass.

“No ones there, everyone’s just abandoned me..everyone in the family,, all except me— ALL OF THE FAMILY, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM EXCEPT ME IS DEAD !” Her rage came back full punch as she yelled again, she didn’t care anymore if anyone ever did show up to hear her screams of grieving frustration. She counted every second as years went by, the pain only worsening with each passing day without them.

“People don’t care..no one did” she let out a sad chuckle, it was forced but she wanted - she hoped it would ease at least a little of her pain even for a second. It felt as if hell itself tortured her from the day she was born, she replayed the happy memories she had in her head of her and her mother which only made her hurt more. While she sat criss-cross she laid her elbows on her lap and rested her face over her palms, soaking them as tears still broke out however. She let out pleads which fell upon deaf ears, she knew they’d never come back; but she did it anyway.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore..” she whimpered.

“It’s not fair, I-it’s not FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR !” She sobbed out, never taking her eyes away from her soaking palms. Her breaths shook, heavy and pained. She bit her tongue on most parts however - as if face to face with her parents while she wept alone.

“Please..come back, I-I don’t know how much longer I,, how much longer I can take of this” she stuttered out with her heart broken and torn feeling as if it was being broken for the first time all over again. She felt her heart beat ring in her ears as her breaths faltered. She felt doomed to repeat as the agonizing pain still stung like a deep open wound, over and over again - no distractions were enough.

“I miss you both more and more everyday...”


End file.
